“I SAID I ONLY HAD ONE.”

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and FBI Director Kash Patel came under some heavy fire on “Saturday Night Live” over their alleged drinking habits — and the jokes were so scathing, the two must be waking up with splitting headaches!

‘SNL’ regular Colin Jost kicked things off playing Hegseth in the opening sketch, walking out to a podium for a press conference with an oversized glass of Scotch on the rocks gripped in his hand.

Jost mockingly tells reporters, “I said I only had one,” and then hands the glass to castmate Ashley Padilla, who played pregnant White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. As Jost passed the glass, he said, “Here you go, for the baby.”

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Jost then ridiculed one of Hegseth’s many speeches about blowing Iran to smithereens before handing the reins over to Aziz Ansari, who played the role of FBI Director Patel.

With his eyes bulging, Ansari hilariously admits to being “the first Indian person to suck at his job,” and then goes on to poke fun at Patel’s time as the head of the federal agency before taking questions from the media.

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One journalist asks about Patel’s alleged drinking — and Ansari’s answer is priceless. Check out the clip. You won’t be disappointed.

We’ve reached out to reps for Hegseth and Patel … so far, no word back.