Iskra Lawrence ‘lost her sense of self’ and battled postpartum depression after Aerie didn’t renew her contract – but insists dark period was ‘meant to happen’ because it became inspiration for her best-selling brand Saltair

Iskra Lawrence has opened up on how going through a dark period in her mental health after losing her Aerie modelling contract following the birth of her son, ended up resulting in the creation of her cult favourite brand, Saltair.

The body positive model, 35, launched the affordable luxury bodycare brand in 2022 with a mission ‘to help everyone feel confident, comfortable and empowered in their own skin’, with it finally landing in the UK at Space NK late last year.

But in a twist of fate, Iskra has revealed the successful company only came about as a result of her heartbreak after clothing retailer Aerie chose not to renew her modelling contract with them, after more than six years.

Speaking on the Ladies Who Launch podcast with Rochelle Humes about her entrepreneurial beginnings, the mother-of-two detailed how she had grown her social media following through her body positive advocacy.

After going viral for hitting back at vile fatphobic trolls, she explained how she harnessed the power of social media to create change with brands, leading the charge with banning her photos from being retouched.

But, while not mentioning Aerie’s name, she recalled to Rochelle how she was then dropped by a brand that she had been the spokesperson for, right before she welcomed her first son, Alpha, now four, with her partner Philip Payne.

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‘I worked with a brand for over six years, I was the face of their brand, we did this anti-retouching movement, I worked with the National Eating Disorder Association with them,’ she said.

‘And in 2020 when I was about to give birth to my son, lockdown had just happened, they got rid of my contract.’

Iskra explained how being let go by the brand after working with them so closely for so many years was ‘triggering’ as it brought back a lot of feelings that she’d struggled with as a teenager, when she’d battled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder.

She described how she ‘lost her sense of self’ and all the self confidence that had been the hallmark of her career, admitting ‘I didn’t even feel worthy of taking a shower.’

‘And that was really triggering for me because I’d been told, “You’re family, this brand is nothing without you”,’ she continued.

‘And I felt disposable again, which hit home that feeling of being disposable and not enough from when I was a teen.

‘So I lost my job and my sense of self, because I’d attached it to being the face of this brand and that was my purpose for a long time, because I wasn’t just a model in the campaigns – I was in every fit meeting, marketing meeting, board rooms.

‘And that was the moment where I said I never want to feel disposable again and so it was coming out of that and having postpartum depression, because I didn’t know what the future looks like now.’

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Speaking on the Ladies Who Launch podcastwith Rochelle Humesabout her entrepreneurial beginnings, the mother-of-two detailed how she had grown her social media following through her body positive advocacy

+13
View gallery

She went on: ‘What happened was I stopped showering and that’s when I knew things were bad.

‘Because I had this toolbox of tools that I’d learned from my eating disorder recovery and years of talking about body confidence and self-esteem and mental health, and I couldn’t even bring myself to shower. I didn’t even feel worthy of taking a shower.

‘I was so bottom of the barrel priority and I remember Philip just being like, “What’s going on?” I was calling myself a mess, I felt disgusting, I was wearing just a black robe that I called my dementor robe, and was like moping around.’

Coming just six months after she’d given birth, Iskra was also suffering with postpartum depression at the time, with her struggles only exacerbated by the fact that it was during the pandemic and her boyfriend’s job had also been put on hold.

Meanwhile, the couple had just moved to a new state at the time and with lockdown restrictions, she was soon left without any ‘support’, revealing that her parents weren’t able to meet her son until he was 18 months old.

‘I was grateful and happy to be a parent, but it just didn’t look like what I thought it was going to’, she candidly said.

‘It was a pandemic and my parents, who I’m very close to, didn’t meet my son for a year and a half and I just didn’t have that support.

‘I moved from New York to Austin Texas at the same time and lost the job, and my husband‘s job was tour manager for an artist, so that all stopped.’