MIRIAM Lake couldn’t believe it when her mum’s new boyfriend presented her with £5 and told her to spend it on whatever she wanted.
She was nine years old at the time – and Michael Egan quickly moved into the family home in Bedford, but that was the only happy memory she has of him.
Miriam Lake was just nine years old when she was first abused by her stepdadCredit: Supplied
She finally escaped his clutches aged 16 and fled with her mum and brotherCredit: Supplied
Michael Egan was jailed in 2022 but was freed as part of the early release schemeCredit: Supplied
Over the next several years the evil thug would delight in subjecting Miriam to physical and mental abuse.
Miriam, 47, who now lives in Bradwell, Derbyshire, was even forced to lick dog poo off Egan’s shoes, burned with a cigarette – and during one brutal attack, he broke her ribs.
He also kicked her so hard while wearing boots she coughed up blood, smashed a cup in her face and dragged her across the floor by her hair.
Egan would even sadistically describe Miriam as a “rape baby” and would cruelly taunt that she would die in a house fire.
At different times, Miriam – who is raising money for charity Women’s Aid – said teachers became concerned for her and it was reported to social services, but the family kept moving to new areas – and the abuse seemed to slip through the net.
First they relocated to Watford, Hertfordshire, then to Great Yarmouth, Norfolk.
The night before she finally escaped his clutches at Christmas 1993, she and her brother took it in turns to stay awake, fearing their stepdad would kill them in their sleep.
Then, on what was Boxing Day morning, their mum Naomi Mitchell packed up whatever she could into her car and fled with her two kids.
They never saw Egan again, but around two decades later Miriam finally found the courage to report him to the police.
He would plead guilty to one count of assault and two charges of child cruelty.
He was initially given a two-year suspended sentence, but on appeal, in December 2022, at the age of 77, he was jailed for four years.
Miriam’s relief was short-lived. Less than two years later, she was informed by the Probation Service his sentence was being cut short as part of an early release scheme to free up prison space.
“I just thought, what a load of rubbish, and I felt the need to speak up and say this isn’t acceptable,” she told The Sun.
“What message does that send to perpetrators? It’s fine to commit such crimes because it’s not taken seriously.”
At the time, she feared for other victims, particularly those who feared for their safety with their abusers walking the streets.
“All of what it’s taken up to this point, for me and other survivors, just to function, it felt like that just doesn’t matter.”
Asked if she fears coming face to face with Egan again, Miriam said no.
Miriam is now a campaigner for Women’s AidCredit: Supplied
Miriam with her twin daughters Anna and RosieCredit: Supplied
Miriam said she has disassociated from her childhood selfCredit: Supplied
“I feel like I’ve made peace with my past and I feel like I’ve come into my power,” the mum-of-four explained.
“If he confronted me, he wouldn’t be coming up against a little girl anymore, he’d be up against someone who is a lot stronger.”
Miriam added: “In my mind, I’d like to stand over him and say ‘look, I’m not a little girl anymore, I’m now a woman who’s powerful and you haven’t taken that away from me.’”
She went on to say, she has had to disassociate from her childhood self in order to cope with her trauma.
“I call it me and little Miriam, it’s like the two are separate,” she said.
“I can’t identify as her. I have to think of them as two separate people. You don’t associate yourself with you as a child anymore, you become desensitised.
“Now, as an adult, I feel as if I can protect that little girl that was me. I’m like the mum to me.
“I’m protecting the little me when no one else would protect me. I’m now the voice of Miriam as a child.”
She said if she didn’t disassociate, she would be filled with “absolute distress”, adding: “I’m then back in it. It must sound so strange.”
Referring to her childhood self, she said: “I take her with me, I don’t forget her. I don’t block her out. Everything I do is for her.”
Miriam says she would like to confront EganCredit: Supplied
Miriam, pictured with her sister Mary, says her trauma has turned to anger – but she now feels she has regained her powerCredit: Supplied
Miriam’s childhood was marred by the abuse – she watched in 2022 as Egan was finally jailedCredit: Supplied
But Miriam said she no longer feels like the victim that she once did.
“My overriding emotion towards it all is more of anger – and that’s what’s driving me to speak out, to help those who aren’t in that stage of the process yet,” she explained.
“It’s regaining your power, it’s a journey – when the abuse is happening, you’re in complete and utter fear, the mental cruelty, the physical abuse. It’s find a way to take back control.”
Miriam suffered with panic disorder for many years, which she said took 20 years to process.
She finally went to police in 2017, after her mum Naomi passed away.
Miriam was nine when Egan first walked through the door in 1988 after they met through a marriage bureau service – an early incarnation of today’s dating sites.
“Mike and my mum first met and he came into our lives, and pretty much straight away was absolutely abusive and horrific,” she explained.
She recalled how he would randomly slap her and her brother round the head as they ate dinner, then would laugh and walk away.
But the abuse ramped up over the years, and she said her mum was coerced by Egan, adding: “He diminished her confidence, she couldn’t leave, she was living in fear as we were – that became our normality.”
Miriam recalled: “The first week, he gave me and my brother £5. We thought ‘who is this man? This is great’.
Miriam and daughter RosieCredit: Supplied
Miriam says speaking out is important to help other survivors who don’t yet have the strength toCredit: Supplied
“That was the only positive memory of him, then the rest just became a build up of fear… It became sadistic by nature.”
Then, when Miriam was 16, she remembered living at Egan’s pub and staying in the bedroom with her brother on Christmas Day in 1993.
“We didn’t have any presents… Me and my brother took it in turns to stay awake all night long,” she explained.
They were convinced Egan would kill them in their sleep. Then, in the morning, her mum finally find the strength to fight back.
Miriam said: “She said ‘I can’t deal with this anymore, we have to go’.
“I thought I‘ve heard this before, not because she was weak – he had so much control over her. That was the last time I spoke to him.”
She said she spent nearly 20 years trying to regain her sense of self.
“I was trying to get better, I suffered PTSD and panic disorder,” Miriam explained.
“My confidence was non-existent, but since then it’s getting stronger until the position I’ve reached now – it’s a process.
“But while you’re still in that process you wouldn’t be able to speak out.”
